When it comes to being the receiving end of rejection, we’ve all been there, done that. However, once you’re faced with that close friend whose glimmering eyes are staring back at yours and waiting for you to utter the words “I feel the same way too!” suddenly it’s not that simple anymore. Here are a few pointers to help you get your message across without hurting the poor guy’s feelings.
Don’t leave him in the dark
Often, without realising, we tend to shrug off the situation by beating around the bush or pretending the whole thing never happened. Listen up girls, because in these circumstances, ignorance is truly not bliss. If you’re sure of how you feel, do not hesitate a moment and let him know. Don’t allow him to be confused or cling on to a slight hope that you two might still have a chance at happy ever after together.
Be honest and clear
It might get uncomfortable or feel unpleasant but always make it a point to be direct and truthful with what you say. Don’t let the discomfort stop you from being honest! Be sure your explanation is detailed, giving him a clear-cut reason as to why you don’t feel the same way. It’s totally okay to show that you’re human and let him know “this is not easy to say but here it is anyway”.
Appreciate his efforts
Be gracious and flattered to the guy who has just confessed his feelings for you. After all, out of all the girls he knows, he chose YOU! It’s having the courtesy of being respectful towards one’s feelings and acknowledging that. You’d be surprised how this could affect the result of you turning him down in a good way. A simple “thank you for telling me how you feel” never hurt anyone. And plus, you’ve got to hand it to the guy – he’s got guts!
Use the right communication channels
You should consider the proper ways to break the news and choose how to communicate wisely. The most sincere way to go is not through your Whatsapps or Facebook messages, but rather the traditional, reputable eye-to-eye conversation. Nothing beats talking serious with someone in person and it shows the kind of respect you’re giving. However, it can’t be helped if the guy is overseas or it’s an online friendship; just pick up the phone and if that doesn’t come through, write an honest, straight forward yet compassionate e-mail.
Give him time and space
After all this emotional turmoil, the guy needs a break. After you’ve decided to be friends, it’s best to give him the time and space to heal and let his feelings die down. You definitely don’t want him to think you’re stringing him along; nor do you want to see a depressed face every time you two are together. Just let him settle down and get emotionally steady before trying to get your friendship back into the track of things.
by Sophira Chong; Photos: Elise McLaughlin, Ivaylo Georgiev via Stock Exchange